Dreams unlived

In order to lull ourselves into the illusion of security, we avoid real life - but this is often hidden precisely in the unknown.

It is very difficult for us to change the course of the political ship at the moment. But could we leave it by lifeboat? How far is "a real life in the wrong" possible at all? Many of us do not dare to get out and remain in situations that are actually not good for us. Why do we have dreams if we don't dare to live them? Obviously, habitual adaptation and the love of comfort have bought us the edge. We prefer to stay in the bubble of supposed security, in which our radius of movement is severely restricted, than to take the risk of the unknown. But it is often in the radically new that real vitality is revealed. There is no real security except that which the spiritually flexible and resilient human being is always able to find in himself.

Anyone who knows Gunnar Kaiser also knows #ichmachdanichtmit. Whether it is G. Kaiser or a hashtag in front of it - the basic essence of the statement is a very significant one. More and more people find themselves in a situation where they simply can't go on as it is. The current, tragic situation has lasted too long for many people to be willing to go along with it.

The thought "I'm not going along with this" has certainly occurred to all of us in the last year and a half, even if only once. Too many events, too much chaos, too many uncertainties and too much information of various kinds have ensured and continue to ensure that we have all stood in front of the mirror - whether full of sadness, despair, anger or fear - and said to ourselves: "I'm not going along with this." Yes, no healthy part of a person can really go along with what has been going on for more than a year and a half now. It is a paralysing state from which there is no way out. No one really wants to anymore, and yet everyone is somehow caught up in it, whether out of a basic conviction for or against the state measures, or in one of the intermediate levels. So what to do to endure the persistent state?

Subtle adaptation

The intolerable situation is compounded by automatic and successive adaptation. It is hardly, if at all, possible to avoid that each individual adapts to the current situation to a certain degree. It is human nature and serves the individual to adapt to the living conditions and environment as far as possible to ensure survival. Certainly, one or two people will disagree with this statement. If I did not make this thesis, I would probably be at the forefront of saying no loudly - a no to adapting to this bizarre world in which we find ourselves.

But look closer and you will inevitably find that subtle adjustments are taking place nonetheless. Everyone will find himself or herself in at least one measure that he or she does not approve of and has always or only recently completely rejected, but with which he or she has nevertheless come to terms in everyday life, has even become accustomed to it. Basically, this adaptation, as already mentioned above, is elementarily important in order to get through everyday life and not completely lose one's head or heart. After all, an organism can hardly endure a constant struggle with the environment over such a long period of time.

The human being tries to regulate himself through adaptation in order not to remain in a state of prolonged overstimulation and to continue to be able to act.

Although this mechanism serves to protect the human being, at the same time it also creates a void that makes the human being emotionless, at least temporarily, with regard to certain things and principles. Other strategies result in sarcasm, in the attempt at humour according to the credo "I can only laugh at this" or in the persistent rebellion that ends in a self-produced split. Whether adaptation or another strategy takes hold - in the end, it leads to feelings and needs having to be intensively suppressed for a long time and thus new traumas arise or old ones are reactivated and deepened.

How life outside keeps us busy

Another problem is the constantly changing regulations and measures in Germany, which continually disrupt the hard-earned self-regulation of each individual. People constantly find themselves in a new powerlessness, are thus always caught up in over-excitement and re-regulation, and thus find it difficult to act and think for real life. In short: the outside world keeps everyone busy, only in different ways.

So one stands in front of the mirror, inwardly empty, without future or perspective. After countless attempts and glimmers of hope, you can't and don't want to go on. It just has to be over, and if a person can still find the strength to stand up for his values, he draws on his last reserves.

We are in a crisis that is being directed from the outside. When I hear the saying "I can't change anything anyway", I have to agree that change on the outside is actually impossible. This therefore represents a dilemma, since the current situation is forced from the outside. It is helpful to understand that the more a person seeks change on the outside, the further he or she moves away from him or herself. In my view, a life on the outside inevitably leads to an unhappy life, because one puts one's energy, time and feelings into something that one cannot influence oneself. Frustration and surrender are the logical consequences.

Organic and parallel societies

Well, what are the ways out in order not to completely lose oneself and to remain in one's own centre? Simply not to join in. For me, this is not about total realisation or rebellion, nor is it about saying nothing at all and subordinating oneself in order to renounce the eternal struggle.

For me, it is about stepping out of this completely absurd parallel world on my own responsibility and with full clarity.

I use the word quite deliberately, because I keep hearing from people who are not in agreement with the current situation that they want to build a parallel society. I actually have to say that I, in turn, do not agree with that.

It's like the certified organic world: what is "organic" is considered special, is labelled separately, costs more and is sold as something "abnormal". There are heated debates about whether organic is really organic and whether it is worth spending more money on it. There is hardly any debate about the fact that organic is not actually organic, because organic is rather "normal" and does not need this special labelling. On the contrary, conventionally processed products need the label of the "conventional", the "unnatural", the "industrial".

I feel the same way about the statements on parallel societies. We don't need parallel societies, we don't need an underground, and we don't need to fight anyone. We are society, we are change, and we are life. Every day we meet in the mirror the one we are ready to accept. This is not something parallel, this is not utopia, this is not creating a completely new society or even world, no, this is life. It doesn't need to be something special to think and act in freedom and self-determination.

By creating such parallel societies, we alienate ourselves all the more from the natural instinct to live together in peace and fulfilment. Now I admit it does sound utopian, because if you go out of the house or turn on the TV today, you very quickly realise that there are a lot of boundaries that you can't just break through. That's easy to say, but the reality is usually bitter.

But at the end of the day, that too is only an individual decision: a yes to oneself or a yes to this outwardly existing world that one fuels all the more by becoming more and more entangled in it with "new societies". Thus, the idea of a parallel society seems relatively plausible and sensible, rather than the one that allows everyone to be wholly in this world without isolating themselves or inventing new strategies.

At the same time, I understand the need to turn to the addresses and people that are a good place of refuge at the moment, but this should serve the current situation, not the long-lasting division. Every person should be able to live the life they want, not in parallel societies or complete conformity, but simply according to who they are, without any outside influence.

One day ... Well - without meaning to be cynical - the current crisis can also offer new opportunities. However, apart from all the suffering and forced permanent heteronomy, which have catastrophic effects, the crisis certainly does one thing, and that for each of us: it creates a reality that today's generations do not know in this way. It makes us rethink our own worldview and life. Man cannot avoid the question: "What do I make of it?" Provided, of course, that free decision-making is possible here.

There are many ways to stop going along with it, to get off the hamster wheel and leave the madness behind. One of them is to leave.

Because if you actually manage to have a solid circle of people around you who catch and support each other in order to stay as healthy as possible, there is still the problem of successive subtle adjustment. I firmly believe that one cannot become healthy in the environment in which one became ill, and I maintain that the last one and a half years have left scars of varying degrees on all of us.

Each of us has this thought, this dream that we carry within us and say to ourselves, "One day I'll do ..." - that longing to get out, whether it's a job, a relationship or habits; that longing to leap into the unknown, to throw all fears and worries overboard and just go for it.

We were trained to dream and to dare from a very early age. Conditioned to security and conformity, we walk through life unhappily, carrying our little desires inside us in the hope that they won't become too big and obvious.

Now the current situation is so extreme for the human being that he inevitably has to step out of his comfort zone and think about whether the previous life felt right and perfect. It is like an outwardly closed wound that never healed under the crust. This crust is now coming off, and there is no way around looking at the wound. There are two options: stick a plaster over it and continue to hope that it will heal at some point, or look at it, leave it open and address the cause so that healing can unfold. Openness is needed to change and to dare to follow the longing.

Leaving the old life does not need to have an escape character, it does not need an adventurous departure, but it does need the deep inner conviction that there is more out there than what we know and see, and that it is worth taking the path.

It is a path that one has always wanted to take; and if one looks more closely, one finds that it is basically the path to oneself. We are so caught up in maintaining our self-imposed and externally imposed lives that we hardly have a chance to look at what we need, want and who we really are.

But what is left in life for the human being after that? Should one simply throw it overboard and give up all that one has built up? It all sounds so simple - until it comes to implementation.

I think it's easier to leave one's old life and break away from entrenched structures than to keep them in place. The energy and intensity it takes to sell oneself the undesirable life as desirable is a far more difficult path than that of giving up the old life and reorienting oneself.

Herein lies the chance to experience what you have long dreamed of doing and never did. It is a chance to step out of the rigidity of everyday life and into this world. It is a way to get closer to real life and in the process to yourself, without any constructs and harmful adaptations. Not dreaming from the old familiar couch, but getting up with all your senses and stepping into a new world. Such an exit offers many individual paths, and no path is as beautiful as that of one's own free unfolding.

'#ichmachedanichtmit' - '#ichgehe'

It's clear, my future is not in Germany. In fact, I am a burnt child when it comes to emigration. As a migrant child, I was allowed to experience first-hand and in full intensity what it means to leave, and even more what it means to arrive anew. It can be beautiful, but it doesn't have to be.

It would never have occurred to me to leave my beloved home and move on again. Hungry for the world and too comfortable in my own home. Having it all and yet being unsatisfied. Moving on - so tempting. Letting go - such a danger. The migration of that time was still deep in my bones until recently. But maybe a milestone was laid then, maybe it's both.

Nevertheless, my future, like everyone else's, is uncertain, manipulated and controlled by others. I, on the other hand, shape my personal everyday life and my present, and I don't want to "endure" my life, I don't want to stand in front of the mirror one day and look into my empty eyes because all hope has been extinguished.

I don't want my children to ask me one day, "What did you do then to change it for you, to change it for us?" I don't want to survive, I want to live. Today. Today is a good day. Today is supposed to be a good day. Not tomorrow.

Many voices comment that it's not better elsewhere, that Germany has so many advantages and that you should appreciate what you have because others have much less. Yes, there is also a truth behind all these objections, and no, all these objections do not explain the inside of each individual and their personal feelings about the current situation. Having a lot and living in a "safe" country does not necessarily make people happier.

Nor does anyone need to lose themselves in gratitude, even though their insides are crying out for more. I plead for more wild living instead of lots of possessions, comfort and suggested security. The security in which we shield ourselves, make ourselves prisoners on a piece of earth and call it happiness in the end. In the process, we try to create a world worth living in a place that has so little good to give us, with ever more bizarre measures and equally futile approaches to solutions, and we don't notice how much we keep turning the wheel ourselves with ever more intensity in our attempts.

Out of fear of the new, man is inclined to keep scurrying past his idea, past his "one day". He allows the thought for a moment and then loses himself in reason and all the misgivings. But there is also a curiosity and a comforting feeling in the wishful thought that over time can replace uncertainty with growing confidence.

It is probably a rather unusual example for this format, but I would like to bring it nevertheless. In my children's illustration book "What to do with an idea", Kobi Yamada addresses the fact that we all have an idea and try to ignore it, but once it is there, it grows. If it is presented to others, the fear of rejection is often confirmed. If you nevertheless continue to stand up for the idea and make it your friend, then, Kobi Yamada ends the book with the words, "And then I realised what you do with an idea (...) You change the world."

These words sound heroic to my children; an adult probably sees life a little more soberly. But if the adult looks closer, he realises that it is just as heroic as it sounds, because a person does not change the whole world, but his own. And what world is more important to each individual than that of his own being?

Recently, Bertrand Stern said at a meeting that there are many people who criticise very well, but hardly anyone brings good solutions. I want to take up this challenge. Not because of Mr. Stern, but I agree that life is richer if, after recognising the problem, one dedicates oneself to the solution instead of remaining in the problem and continuing to be shackled by powerlessness.

End of line!

I am leaving in order not to go under. I am leaving in order to free myself from unhealthy structures. I am leaving to find myself. I go for my children. I go for my truth and my world, for this wonderful world, without any parallels.

I am not going to hide, I am going to come out, to turn towards this life and not be held down by outer and even less inner bars.

I go so that at the end of my days I no longer have to say "One day I'll do this and that", but so that I can remember, in harmony with this wonderful world, what I have done and experienced.